Archive for April, 2010

Hoarding is Hard Work: Develop a system for purging

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

In the fall, we butcher a beef animal to fill our freezer. I keep the bones and meat scraps from the butcher to feed Tip, my black and white Border Collie dog.

Every day I toss some of these tasty morsels to Tip and I just realized I am causing her a ton of work.  Because she then spends several hours carefully hiding these delicacies around the yard anywhere she can find loose material to bury them – next to a tree trunk, under a bush, deep inside a snow bank, or in the wood pile.

This is only part of the problem.  The rest of the day is spent thus: 1) searching for the right piece for her meal – one which has been properly buried, aged, and tenderized (otherwise known as stinking-rotten), and 2) patrolling the yard to protect her stash from the looting ravens and magpies.  There is just no time for regular dog-duties – the productive work.

Hmmm.  I wonder how many of us spend our days this same hoarding way – and it’s hard work.

My examples:

  • I research a topic and print a schwack of information for later use.
  • Magazines arrive in the mail and I don’t have time to read them now, so they get piled up.
  • A neat tool in Canadian Tire catches my attention and I buy it because I might use it once or twice a year.
  • We acquire a 17-year supply of a product because there is a volume discount.
  • There is a new techno-gadget that we “need,” even though the old method is working just fine.

And we put these things in places where they are convenient – places we won’t forget.  And we need to buy boxes, closets, filing cabinets, sheds, bigger houses, and garages to store our hoardings.  This may mean we need to spend more money and possibly take on debt – or more debt.

And then we need to protect, maintain, and repair those acquisitions, which takes time and costs more money.

And suddenly we realize we are trapped in debt, or need to find a better paying profession to buy, store, and maintain more hoardings.

Sound familiar?

You may be thinking, “OK Dan, we get the point.  We’ll do spring cleaning soon.”  Soon.  Is that a month after March or November – 2015?  Unfortunately, most people don’t get to the real purging.

Now is the best time to metaphorically wander around your yard, gather up the old bones, scraps, and buried morsels.  Now is a great time to get rid of things you don’t use or want.  It’s OK to:

  • get rid of that ugly vase Aunt Hilda gave you 47 years ago
  • give away those clothes that shrunk in the closet
  • donate those books you’ll never read
  • sell cars, electronics, and sporting goods you don’t use.
  • Use gained resources to pay down or eliminate debt.

Carol and I have a weekly business/personal meeting to celebrate our weekly successes, align our schedules, and talk about anything else that is important in our lives.  One of the agenda items is purging.  Since we’ve committed to purging a few minutes each week, we’ve emptied filing cabinets, cleared bookshelves and closets, and the process is ongoing.

This process of purging is freeing for us.  We spend less time looking for things, we consciously evaluate our collecting or buying choices (which saves money), and we’re more clear and focussed on what we really want.  As we release the obligations of our hoardings, amazing opportunities and possibilities are entering our lives.  As we surrender or get-rid-of what we don’t want, we are free to allow and accept what we do want – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially.

I’m curious to know how purging works for you.  What potential can you realize when you run freely; rather than keeping yourself locked inside your backyard full of stinkin’ old bones?

Can You Do Nothing

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

Can You Do Nothing – Nothing?

A step toward conscious peace of mind

Busy, busy, busy.  That’s what I hear from most people I talk to.  Statistics Canada indicates that people are working more hours per week than ever.  Add in the demands of family, friends, and community, and the hours are over-spent.

I’m curious to know if this happens for you and how you handle it.

Most people give up things.  They give up hours of sleep, eliminate time for themselves, reduce physical activity, skip meals, miss family activities, and back out of community involvement. And then worry, guilt, and fear set in.  They “should” on themselves.

“I should get more sleep.”
“I should spend more time with my family.”
“I should get back into an exercise program.”
“I should have some time for just me.

All of this “shoulding” pollutes the brain.  It’s hard to be focused and productive with a quagmire of these bombarding thoughts. It’s stressful.

Stress happens when we don’t decide what to do.

So why not decide right now to give yourself at least a few minutes a day of clear, stress-free mind time – to do nothing, absolutely nothing?

This is easier said than done, my friend.  This means to refrain from: reading; writing; listening to music or the radio; watching TV; exercising; or any other activity.  It also means thinking about nothing.

Call it mediation if you like.  It’s a powerful method of becoming an observer of your thoughts, rather than becoming emotionally charged, and reacting to them.’

Practice these steps for 10 or 15 minutes a day and let me know how it goes for you.

  • Sit comfortably, relaxed, with a soft belly
  • Breathe in deeply and notice the feeling of your belly expanding and your chest rising
  • Exhale totally and notice the feeling of the air in your nostrils as your chest falls
  • Continue this, focusing your awareness on your breath
  • Focus your eyes on some non-moving object in front of you, and keep your focus there – thinking about nothing.

Unless you’ve practiced this many times, you’ll find your mind wandering to: a pain in your knee, a disagreement you just had, a work task, what you will eat for supper, sexual desires, and tons of other past and future thoughts.

In “The Wisdom Of Yoga,” Stephen Cope describes this as the mind being like a puppy in a field, running from tree to post, sniffing under a rock, romping after a bird, running continually to the point of exhaustion, but going nowhere in particular.  Through practice, we can tie the puppy to a post and learn to observe.  From there great peace and learning occurs.

I found this extremely frustrating – to notice all of my insignificant and unimportant past and future thoughts.  I was missing the peacefulness of now.  As I kept at it, the frustration changed to curiosity – an attitude of, “that’s interesting.”  And as I continue to practice, I’m finding it easier to focus on doing and thinking “nothing” in the moment.

I have greater clarity, awareness, appreciation, and creativity.  I experience less anger, frustration, fear, and guilt.  I like that trade and I now sleep well at night.  Hence, I have more energy for what I want to do in each moment.

Thich Nhat Hanh, in “Peace Is Every Step” said, “When we are in touch with the refreshing, peaceful, and healing elements within ourselves and around us, we learn how to cherish and protect these things and make them grow.  These elements of peace are available to us anytime.”

Are you thinking, “Great idea, Dan, but I don’t have time for that”?  Hmmm.  Either I communicated really poorly or you missed the point.  I suggest you read the article again.

How Much Time Do You Spend With Negative People?

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I had a visitor recently.  Over a coffee, I heard about his boss, a colleague, two suppliers, and his wife.  You can probably guess.  They were all jerks.

I was in an interesting position.  If I said something he didn’t like, would I be included in his Jerkdom Hall of Fame in his next conversation?

Actually, I didn’t really care.  But what was going on for him was a powerful lesson for me.  Life is such a good teacher.

This gentleman works a job whereby he is on his own much of the day. Through my questions, I learned that over the past week, he had actually communicated less than one hour with his boss.  Although he saw his colleague each morning and at the end of the day, they rarely talked.  One supplier had been on site twice in the week.  And he was with his wife less than four waking hours per day.  I doubt that every minute of those interactions was nasty.  But even if they were, it was less than 25% percent of his non-sleeping time.  And yet he had allowed his interactions and perceptions of those “negative” people to pollute his brain for the other 75% percent of his week.

I had two distinct thoughts with lessons for me.

First thought:
Were all of those other people as negative as he described?  Or was he the common link in the quality of those interactions?

The lesson:
I learned that I have the choice and control of my feelings at ALL times.  Nobody else can make me happy, jazzed, sad, or razzed.  It’s always my choice.  And as I consciously choose the fabulous feelings I want, it positively affects my relationships with others.

Does this same lesson apply for you?

Second thought:
Was this a time management habit?  Oh, this man may do exceptional work while on the job, but does his use of time give him a rejuvenating and satisfying quality of life?

The lesson:
I have exactly the same number of hours every day, and my days are limited.  I encounter negative people and undesirable situations.  As a percentage of my time, this is extremely small.  I can choose to let those few negative moments pollute my entire day as I drag those past situations into my present and project them into my future.  Or I can choose to be totally present in each moment.  In other words, I can effectively deal with the negative situations, let them go, and be totally joyous and appreciative of the other wonderful moments.  I “get to” choose to make the biggest part of my day fabulous.

Does this same lesson apply for you?

One final thought:
Thankfully, this gentleman is not a regular visitor.  We need to be conscious and mindful of the people we associate with on a regular basis.  My friend, Kevin Burns, says, “If you hang around with whiners and complainers, their numbers go up by one.”