Marriage? Honesty Ensures Longevity

Regularly we have a dialogue with one of the partners in a relationship, and the words go like this: “I just found out that he/she is ready to leave. I had no idea it was so bad.” How does this happen? There are always many stories, yet the fact is: honest communication has not occurred…. Read more »

The Rotary Four-Way Test: It Affects Your Marriage And All Relationships

Recently we were visiting with Connie and Bernie. This couple have done the conscious and consistent work to transform their relationship whereby they now strive to work together to bring out each other’s wonderfulness. They gave us a small medallion which they use to remind themselves to keep working together for the betterment of themselves,… Read more »

2 X 2 Couple’s Retreat: 10 Reasons to do it

Where we live out in the “sticks,” most of us have a 4 X 4 truck.  For us, it’s a no-brainer – for stability, safety, flexibility, and power. Our 4 X 4 keeps us solidly on the road, regardless of the conditions.  When consciously attending to conditions, we travel safely and get where we’re going. … Read more »

Focused Time Will Make It Fine: It’s a juggling act

Where does your relationship with your partner fit on your list of priorities? Weird question because I don’t have a written list of my priorities in life (roles).  Do you? Yet if we evaluate how we distribute our time, effort, and attention, it is very clear that you and I DO have an unconscious list… Read more »

1 Choice That Changes Everything In Your Marriage

Marriage (or any long-term intimate relationship) can be the most satisfying, gratifying, and mystifying experience in life.  Maybe that’s why a large percentage of our population try it. It seems that many people “try it,” as a sport that you win or lose, and naturally the intent is to win. Other people “totally commit to… Read more »

On Valentine’s Day, Just Be Nice!!

Valentine’s Day, every February 14, is a day to celebrate Love and affection. Why do we need a day designated for that?  That’s ludicrous, don’t you think? The greeting card companies love it.  The candy companies love it.  Flower shops love it. Fancy restaurants love it.  Many of them rake in millions of dollars every… Read more »

A Simple Habit Formula To Transform Your Life

I have a bundle of habits that rule my life.  So do you. If you think about your brain as a computer, this bundle of habits is an amazing operating system that makes much of life easy.  It operates in the background and does calculations and tasks so you can focus your attention on activities… Read more »

1% Victories for Relationship Excellence

“How can I fix my relationship?” We hear this regularly in phone calls, emails, and from coaching clients. Unfortunately, a relationship is not like a car, where you fix it by putting in new spark plugs, changing the brake pads, or installing a new sensor.  That said, I know some people who would graphically tell… Read more »

Love That You Can’t Buy, Thank God For Kids

The Oak Ridge Boys.  Remember them? An amazing country-gospel group of guys that continue to make fabulous music.  You might remember, “Elvira – oom-pappa-oom-pappa-oom-pappa-mow-mow” At this time of year, I find myself singing their song, “Thank God For Kids.” For some reason, the words send shivers up my spine and tears flow.  I think it’s… Read more »

7 Steps to Fight Fairly: aka Reframe the Fight to Make it Right

Does the relationship game need to include fighting, battling, and arguing?  Those aren’t great ways to build trust. As coaches, we regularly receive inquiries such as (taken directly from emails): “We need to learn to fight fair.” “We’re struggling with the battles.” “How can we fight and get the best outcome?” A phrase rushes through… Read more »