How Do You Show Your Love?

What do you mean, “How do you show your love?”  Weird question, isn’t it?

This may seem like a total exaggeration, but I invite you to ponder this.

Many people (me included) get wrapped up in life – busy with work schedules, kids’ sports, family get-togethers, volunteer activities, TV, computer, and a variety of other “perceived” important duties.  They forget to show their life-partner that they love him/her.

Look around.  It’s true, isn’t it?

For me, it can be easy to justify:

• “I’m too busy”
• “I forget sometimes”
• “We have schedules where we don’t see each other much”
• “I don’t know how”
• “I used to, but he/she doesn’t reciprocate, so why bother?”
• “I’m just not that kind of person”
• or the classic “I told you 20 years ago that I loved you.  If anything changes, I’ll let you know.”

These are feeble excuses that can cause dramatic and undesirable results in the relationship.  However, if everyone was really good at showing their affection, Carol and I would have to find new work – there would be no demand for relationship coaching or communication training.

If the excuses and patterns continue, the couple begin to:

• drift apart
• act as if they are just roommates
• resent each other
• or become attracted to someone else who meets their need for care, attention, fun, and love.

The solution is simple – consciously find ways to show your love and affection.

Simple solution.  Yet application of this solution may be a bit challenging – at least at the start.

I’m curious to know how you show your love to your mate.

Your thoughts:

When you think of your partner, what words, pictures, feelings come to your mind and heart?

What enhancements can you make to those thoughts that build and grow your love, and make it more exciting?

If you were to regularly think those thoughts now, what might be the results for you?

Your words:

What words do you regularly use when speaking to your partner?

If you were to choose different “loving” words, what would they be?  How often will you use them now?

If you work on this, what might the result be for you?

Your actions:

What might be some unique, genuine, caring things you could do to, or for your partner that indicate your love?  How often will you commit to do these from now on?

Feedback:

What might happen for you if you asked your partner how he/she would like to be treated and spoken to?  What might happen if you chose to use that feedback?

My request for you:

I invite you to experiment and send me an email of what worked for you.  Wouldn’t it be fun to have a top 10 list we could share?

In closing, love is the most natural and easy thing to do – with your partner, family, colleagues, neighbours, and friends.  Imagine what our communities and world would be if we all showed a bit more love.

I love you!!

Dan