Can you imagine? Yeah, can you imagine what it’s like to go to work or home, and have everyone getting along; treating each other with kindness, respect, and compassion? Can you imagine people really, really communicating; they truly understand each other? You know what I mean; people speaking clearly and calmly while the other person focuses on just listening. Imagine that? And can you imagine what it’s like when everyone is happy and joyful all of the time? Can you?
Probably not. Bummer!! We need to do something about this, don’t we?
Why doesn’t that scenario occur?
Here are some clues. These are coming from couples in their home-relationships and from executives and business owners in their workplaces. We hear these statements regularly in coaching sessions:
“I wish she would give me some respect.”
“He doesn’t seem to have time for us.”
“I’d like her to show me some appreciation for what I do.”
“He won’t help me with anything.”
“We could use some more kindness around here.”
“She won’t listen to me.”
Do any of those statements cross your mind at times? If so, you’re probably normal – not that normal leads to an abundance of happiness.
If you want to experience more of what was described in the first paragraph, here’s a challenge for you, should you choose to accept it. Whatever you want more of, give it away.
That may seem ludicrous, but if you stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. Because, if I were to say each of those statements above, they would indicate that I am focussing totally on me and my own needs. They would indicate that I have given control of my experience of life, and my feelings, to someone else. In other words, it would mean that what someone else says or does determines how I feel rather than me making the choice. Those statements above would indicate clearly that I am a victim in a huge way. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be a victim.
On the other hand, when I place my focus on the other person and what I can joyfully give to him, it totally changes my perspective. It’s not about me, but about him or her. I get to choose exactly how I feel regardless of how the other person accepts what I say or do. And when I give away what I’m wanting, more of the same returns to me, expanded.
So here’s the application of the challenge, if you’re going to play along with me:
- If you want respect, intentionally be extremely respectful of every person, animal, or plant you encounter.
- If you want someone else’s time, give your time generously – to just be there for the other person.
- If you’re feeling like you’re not being appreciated, be super appreciative about everything and everyone. Find things about others you can praise, compliment, and appreciate. And give the appreciation verbally so those you are appreciating hear it. If we all did this many times a day, we could become an appreciation-nation. Wouldn’t that be a swell change?
- If you’d like help, offer to help others. And do it genuinely, joyfully, and without expectation of anything in return.
- If you want kindness to be shown toward you, be super-dooper kind to yourself and to others. Search for ways to be kind in how you think, speak, and act.
- If others don’t seem to listen to you, become a listen-aholic. Pay close attention to what others are saying and listen to understand them. If you’re not sure, ask for clarification. And strive to keep your own mouth shut. It’s amazing what you can learn when you’re not talking.
Within a very short time, you’ll notice that what you want is beginning to come back to you in ways far bigger and better than you had imagined.
Is this a crock of s…&%#!? I don’t think so.
Even if you think you’re good at this already, my challenge still stands. Whatever you want more of, give it away. From personal experience, I know it keeps getting even better.
I’d like to know about your experience with this challenge – when you’ve given it your conscious attention and intention for at least seven full days.
I invite you to call me, email me, or text me. I’m curious to know about you.
