Tag: communication skills

Chronic Complaints: After 3 times, lay that sucker out

You might know the routine.  Out of genuine care and concern for your partner you ask, “How was your day?” The response goes something like this, “Oh, you can’t believe what a crappy day it was……… (on and on and on, gag, gag, adnosium).” Too often, replaying these stories, and telling them over and over only… Read more »

What You Were Told As A Kid Doesn’t Work: The Art & Science of Word Use

Remember the ditty, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me”? Totally ridiculous, wasn’t it? The phrase would supposedly protect us from verbal attacks on the playground at school. If you think about the flip-side of the phrase, it means it’s OK for the bully to use verbal attacks. After… Read more »

Garage Sale Unwanted Stuff & Behaviour

Ever had a garage sale? Yes, we know there are some things that are tough to get rid of.  Eventually, you just breath and let it go. It works the same way with behaviour you have that doesn’t serve a purpose anymore.  Eventually, you just breath and let it go. Check out this great video,… Read more »

Marriage? Honesty Ensures Longevity

Regularly we have a dialogue with one of the partners in a relationship, and the words go like this: “I just found out that he/she is ready to leave. I had no idea it was so bad.” How does this happen? There are always many stories, yet the fact is: honest communication has not occurred…. Read more »

The Rotary Four-Way Test: It Affects Your Marriage And All Relationships

Recently we were visiting with Connie and Bernie. This couple have done the conscious and consistent work to transform their relationship whereby they now strive to work together to bring out each other’s wonderfulness. They gave us a small medallion which they use to remind themselves to keep working together for the betterment of themselves,… Read more »

2 X 2 Couple’s Retreat: 10 Reasons to do it

Where we live out in the “sticks,” most of us have a 4 X 4 truck.  For us, it’s a no-brainer – for stability, safety, flexibility, and power. Our 4 X 4 keeps us solidly on the road, regardless of the conditions.  When consciously attending to conditions, we travel safely and get where we’re going. … Read more »

On Valentine’s Day, Just Be Nice!!

Valentine’s Day, every February 14, is a day to celebrate Love and affection. Why do we need a day designated for that?  That’s ludicrous, don’t you think? The greeting card companies love it.  The candy companies love it.  Flower shops love it. Fancy restaurants love it.  Many of them rake in millions of dollars every… Read more »

A Simple Habit Formula To Transform Your Life

I have a bundle of habits that rule my life.  So do you. If you think about your brain as a computer, this bundle of habits is an amazing operating system that makes much of life easy.  It operates in the background and does calculations and tasks so you can focus your attention on activities… Read more »

Love That You Can’t Buy, Thank God For Kids

The Oak Ridge Boys.  Remember them? An amazing country-gospel group of guys that continue to make fabulous music.  You might remember, “Elvira – oom-pappa-oom-pappa-oom-pappa-mow-mow” At this time of year, I find myself singing their song, “Thank God For Kids.” For some reason, the words send shivers up my spine and tears flow.  I think it’s… Read more »

7 Steps to Fight Fairly: aka Reframe the Fight to Make it Right

Does the relationship game need to include fighting, battling, and arguing?  Those aren’t great ways to build trust. As coaches, we regularly receive inquiries such as (taken directly from emails): “We need to learn to fight fair.” “We’re struggling with the battles.” “How can we fight and get the best outcome?” A phrase rushes through… Read more »